Superwhatever

"I meet so many people who have superwhatever rattling around in their head. They have this person they are convinced they are supposed to be, and their superwhatever is killing them. They have this image they picked up over the years of how they are supposed to look and act and work and play and talk, and it's like a voice that never stops shouting in their ear. And the only way to not be killed by it is to shoot first. Yes, that is what I meant to write. You have to kill your superwhatever. And you have to do it right now." -Rob Bell in Velvet Elvis
This is one of those times when you feel like the author or the pastor is speaking directly to you. Like they were thinking of you when they were writing their message. I can definitely relate with feeling overwhelmed by all the oughts and shoulds that I live by...by feeling driven by something that I'm not fully in touch with...feeling like I can't really slow down...that if I stop or don't follow my routines or do things right the world is going to stop. I'm not fully aware of why I am compelled to live this way, but I know it's robbing me in many ways. I know that I need to do some soul searching and allow God to heal some of the innermost places of my being. Rob Bell makes a sobering discovery on his journey to kill the superpastor inside him: "Your job is the relentless pursuit of who Gad has made you to be. And everything else you do is sin and you need to repent of it." God did not make me to be perfect, to please everyone, to be responsible and polished. He made me to passionately pursue Him, to love others, and to find the sacred in every day life. This involves a slowing down and letting go that I am not accustomed to. This involves facing the difficult things in my soul and bringing them to the surface. This involves being honest, authentic, and sharing the freedom that comes from accepting my own weaknesses and limitations.